Alternative Reality Headlines on Hayden, Vicky & Katrina

Noong sila pa ni Hayden, binola ng huli si Katrina by saying: Ikaw ang partner ko in a parallel world (kasi si Vicky ang partner nya in this world).

And so in view of recent events, I present these alternative reality headlines which you must admit, you’d like to read in tabloids and broadsheets:

1. Hayden pinaaaresto ng DOJ

• Hayden dinampot ng PNP; no bail recommended
• Hayden, binantaang rireypin ng mga batang city jail
• Vicky sasamahan si Hayden sa jail
• Gay lawyers offer pro-bono service to Hayden

2. Dahil sa Hayden sexvids, Vicky nag-overdose ng Botox; mukha namaga!

• Vicky umaming adik kay Hayden!
• Condong pinatirhan kay Hayden pinabombahan ng Lysol ni Vicky sa mga katulong
• Vicky nag-hysterical, na-admit sa St. Luke’s

3. Hayden, ipo-produce ni Vicky ng indie film

• Careless Whisper: The Hayden Kho Sex Scandal sino-shooting na
• Hayden binigyan ng permit magshooting
• Joel Lamangan ididirek ang Careless Whisper

3. Katrina Halili gagawa ng sariling indie film – Careless Whisper: The Katrina Halili Sex Scandal

• Dingdong Dantes gaganap na Hayden sa Katrina version
• Carlo Caparas ididirek si Katrina sa kanyang version ng Careless Whisper

4. Parehong bersyon ng Careless Whisper flop sa takilya!

• Pirated copies ng 2 version na in-upload sa Youtube umabot na ng 2M views!

5. Hayden, Vicky found dead in condo!

• PNP starts manhunt for Belo children
• Belo children stand to gain from Vicky’s beauty business – PNP
• NBI: Hayden, Belo committed copycat Romeo-Juliet suicide compact
• Hayden, Belo interred in separate memorial parks

6. Katrina marries 63-year old congressman

• Assunta da Rossi calls Katrina a second-rate, trying-hard copycat!
• Katrina gives birth to baby boy, names baby Vic-Den
• Katrina: Sino kaya ang baog kina Jules at Assunta?
• Katrina files for annulment from hubby of 1 year
• Katrina official candidate in global search for FHM Hot Momma of 2012

7. Maricar Reyes inalis sa ABS-CBN Star Magic Talent Center, Bud Brothers

• Maricar kukuning celeb-endorser ng mineral water
• Maricar, unang Pinay nude centerfold ng Hustler Magazine
• Gabriela, pari at madre nagprotesta sa Maricar centerfold
• Maricar nagmongha! Pink Sisters tinanggap sya bilang nobisyada

8. Dagul’s sexvid scandal with Goin’ Bulilit rocks nation!

• Goin’ Bulilit sexvid wins Best Picture in online pedophile filmfest
• Govt closes down ABS-CBN Star Magic Talent Center due to sexvid scandal